


I hate to admit it

by kaise



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Inspired by Music, Kaihun - Freeform, Long-Term Relationship(s), M/M, One Shot, Romance, Slice of Life, idk what else to tag, sekai - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-12
Updated: 2017-06-12
Packaged: 2018-11-13 05:55:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,674
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11178462
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kaise/pseuds/kaise
Summary: Six years ago, Sehun confessed to Jongin in a beach underneath the starry night. Six years later, they're back again for something Sehun had planned





	I hate to admit it

**Author's Note:**

> I had been neglecting this for awhile, but I finally finished it and for a special occasion too. Happy birthday to my sekai mate and irl best friend, Saje! The person who chats me nonstop, relates well when I miss sekai, and my twin self. For now, I'll give you a warm virtual hug uwu I hope you like this fic since you want a fluff! I'll give you another gift when we meet c:

_It’s 9:42_

_I’m still playing with this beat_

_And my boy, he fell asleep_

_Oh God! He’s so sweet_

Looking at his rear side view, Sehun sees the headlights to the car behind him, blinking statically against the night. The clock is ticking into 9:42 PM from the screen of his car’s audio player, reminding him why the streets are still crowded.

 _I’m Yours_ by _Jason Mraz_ is playing in the background, accompanying Sehun as he drives across the hustling streets. His finger unconsciously taps along the beat on his steering wheel while his head nods lightly to the rhythm of the song.

The snore coming from the passenger’s seat next to him averts his focus to the sleeping boy, and Sehun smiles at the serene look on his face. It’s almost infectiously sweet that Sehun has an urge to kiss the boy.

A red light ahead leads him to halt his car, and Sehun quickly steals a chance to lean forward to the sleeping boy. His hand reaches to tuck the falling strands behind the boy’s ear before he gently runs the back of his fingers on the boy’s cheeks.

The yellow light flashing brightly in front of him focuses Sehun back on the street ahead, with their destination in mind. By the familiar streets and houses he’s passing by, Sehun knows they’ll soon be in their favorite place in a few more minutes.

 

 

_Now it’s ten o’clock_

_I thought Imma take him walk_

_We’re gonna be walking in the park_

_And we’ll be kissing in the dark_

As Sehun parks his car in an empty lot, he sneaks a glance at the clock on the screen, and it glares back at precisely 10 PM. He sighs in reminiscence at the view of their favorite place now by his right side, and it looks exactly the same.

Shuffling in his seat, Sehun chuckles to himself when he sees the boy that had become the light of his life still deep in his slumber. He almost felt the need to let the boy sleep, but he promised. 

 _They_ promised.

Shaking the boy next to him lightly by the shoulders, Sehun hears a tired groan from him. He pulls back his hand when the boy is finally awake, rubbing his sleepy eyes and yawning before he glances at Sehun in confusion.

“Are we here? Sorry, I fell asleep. I always fall asleep when you’re driving, I don’t know why.”

Jongin’s croaked voice causes Sehun to stifle his laughter because it sounds so adorable, and his messy hair is strewn all over his face, making him look cuter. Sehun sighs, _a 27-year-old grown man shouldn’t be this cute just by waking up._

“Yes, we’re here. It’s late enough for the park to be empty.”

“So we have the park to ourselves?”

“It’s safe to say, we do.”

As if those words are Jongin’s wake up call, the boy is suddenly clapping excitedly, and his face lights up even though he fumbles with the handle for awhile. Laughing at Jongin’s excited demeanor, Sehun calmly steps out and doesn’t forget to lock his car.

Jongin’s long strides are slowly evolving into little skipping on the stone pathway, and from behind him, the view resembles of a kid having the joy of their time in the park. Sehun’s laughter rings in the air of the quiet park, his feet taking quicker strides the more he gets far behind.

The small dark navy gate is visible in Sehun’s eyes until Jongin blocks it, taking his shoes off. A loud creaking noise cries out as soon as Jongin opens the gate, the tip of his toe dipping on the sand.

It’s the very beach where they first confessed their feelings to each other.

In anticipation of the salty ocean air’s embrace, Sehun quickly follows after, kicking off his sandals. The sand underneath his feet is cold, tickling him but it shares a contrast on the warm welcome Sehun feels.

Under the moonlight that is reflecting from the ocean’s surface, it’s exactly the same as how it was when they were last there. The waves crashing onto each other creates a sound Sehun is addicted to, linking it to a picture of Jongin in his mind.

A fond smile replaces Sehun’s laughter when flashbacks of their confession unveil in his mind.

Remembering the sweet innocent memory that he had imprinted so well in the back of his mind, Sehun smiles at the figure that belongs to someone that he’s so in love with, standing in front him.

With the intention to surprise him, Sehun sneaks behind Jongin, attempting to be soundless as he tries to dip his feet as lightly as possible on the sand.

His arm snakes around Jongin’s waist from his back in abrupt. Instead of getting what Sehun expected is a surprised gasp or yelp, Jongin crosses his arm on top of Sehun’s laced fingers as his hand grips on the sides of Sehun’s arm.

Jongin, inside his arm, hums before his chuckle that sounded so lovely prompts a confused look on Sehun’s face, “I knew it was you. Who else in this beach would give me a surprise back hug?”

“I don’t know, Jongin,” frowning in distaste as he realizes he’s the only person to back hug Jongin ever, “maybe a fucking kidnapper?”

“A kidnapper, really, Sehun? Who would kidnap a grown 27-year-old in a deserted beach at 10 PM when there’s you too behind me?”

“Maybe someone sneaky enough to kidnap you without me noticing?”

“Sehun,” Jongin’s stern yet gentle voice prods Sehun’s lips to seal shut, “This isn’t the movies where you won’t notice a kidnapping, especially when the victim is me.”

“I know, I know. I was over exaggerating.”

“I knew you were. You always do when you forget a split second if I reciprocate instead of defense. My reflexes had been so accustomed with yours.”

A wide smile spreads across Sehun’s lips as he agrees that Jongin couldn’t put it into better words because _it’s true_. From the years of their friendship, not only do they grew closer physically but emotionally.

Every skinship Jongin constantly does with Sehun had ingrained inside their nature that led them to always reconcile with one another instead of anyone else. People can say they’re inseparable for they easily find their way back to each other, one way or another.

As if they gravitate towards each other.

In their joy or remorse, the first face that comes to their mind is each other’s face. Where one moment their chests burst with happiness, they automatically turn to each other with open arms for a celebratory hug in the peak of their delight. 

Where the other moment their chest suffocates their breaths from the despair, they then turn to each other again with open arms for a warm hug that they identify as home when everything around them is foreign.

Almost in Sehun’s every waking moment, Jongin is there. He couldn’t even be more grateful to have Jongin now inside his arms as his past, present, and soon-to-be future.

Leaning into one of Jongin’s ears, Sehun whispers, “Jongin, you know I love you, right?”

“Of course I know. I love you too, Sehun.”

With that, Sehun leans in closer with his eyes on Jongin’s lips, and he notices the older boy turning his head with his eyes closing. Finally, Sehun closes in with his pair of lips on Jongin’s plump ones, sparking his then steady heartbeat into a quicker pace.

Deepening the kiss, Sehun turns his head slightly as his tongue skim Jongin’s bottom lip. His hand on Jongin’s waist runs up and down, leaving a shiver to the latter.

A whimper escapes Jongin’s lips when their tongue gently coaxes, inevitably causing the heat pooling inside Sehun to grow even more.

_But he wants the night to be special._

Much to his dislike, Sehun pulls away from the kiss with a gentle tug on Jongin’s bottom lip, as the boy under his arms breathes a satisfied sigh. Jongin’s eyes remain closed as his lips tugs into a beautiful smile, and Sehun feels like he’s falling in love all over again.

“I will never get enough of that.”

As Jongin opens his eyes, Sehun finds himself unable to look away at the eyes staring back at him affectionately. Oblivious to the wide smile on his lips, Sehun’s eyes slowly turn crescent-moon shaped at the bundle of warmth he feels.

“I’ll make sure you never do, Jongin.”

 

 

_And I think we can_

_Make it to our promise land_

_We’ll be happy and_

_We’ll live together till the end_

The cold sand beneath them starts filling in the little gaps of their clothes as they sit near the rising sea but it’s easy to pay no attention to it with their hands intertwining effortlessly. 

Gazing at the starry sky above with the Spring wind blowing ever so softly once in awhile, it’s the perfect way to spend their 6th anniversary as a couple. This had been Sehun’s plan to celebrate their anniversary because he knows their appreciation for simple things.

Any couple out there would want to celebrate their anniversary extravagantly, but the way Sehun and Jongin thinks is having a candle lit dinner doesn’t have to be on a special occasion. 

They don’t need to dedicate a day in every year for luxurious dates when they can do that on any other day, and it will still be special. Because what’s special isn’t the occasion, place, or gifts they bought for each other, it’s having each other.

A sudden weight on Sehun’s shoulders retains his focus back as he looks to his side, only to have his lips muffled by Jongin’s thick hair, and he gives a light peck on Jongin’s head. The faint smell of strawberry shampoo fills Sehun’s senses, and he chuckles at the older’s extent of love for strawberries. The moment Jongin nuzzles into his neck is when Sehun starts melting at his cuteness and the tingling sensation.

Sehun suddenly remembers to bring out his desired topic for the night, but he hesitates in his words. He wants to express his thoughts to Jongin in the best way possible to show his affection and sincerity.

“Jongin, have you ever thought of our future together?”

A hum is all Sehun could hear, but he waits patiently for Jongin to continue, “I have. It had always crossed my mind.”

“I mean, starting our own family together, Jongin. Having our dogs together and maybe even kids.”

“That’s what I meant too. I’ve always dreamt of having my own family, and I can picture us as a lovely one.”

Relief courses through Sehun’s body after he knows that he’s not way ahead about their relationship. He only wants to have a family with Jongin, no one else. 

“Not just lovely, I want us to be a happy family too,” Sehun’s chest rises along the deep breath he takes before he says what he had planned to say because he knows it’s long. 

He wants to look straight at Jongin’s eyes, but since the boy is resting comfortably on his shoulder, he’ll have to make do with tightening his grip on their laced hands.

“Happy. It’s always overlooked, but it’s actually not so easy to reach it. Being happy isn’t just a momentary spark that we feel, it’s a feeling like we’re on top of the world with bliss in our chest because at that moment, that’s where we want to be. I wonder a lot if I’ll ever reach my happiness and at that, a clear image of you comes to mind.

It doesn’t shock me that you showed up since you’re what drives me, what makes me stronger, and what warms my heart. I was only surprised that it took me long enough to realize not only do I love you but I always and will truly be happy if I have you next to me.”

A moment of silence evades them as the sound of waves crashing and their steady breaths mingle together in the background. Sehun glances at Jongin, immediately entranced by the soft smile on the latter’s lips.

The first thing that slips past Jongin’s lips is a small chuckle, and it’s not what Sehun expected. At least the weight he feels on his shoulder fades away when Jongin mumbles, “Did you write that on paper?”

Sehun bursts into laughter because he actually _did._ Although to Sehun’s defense, he only wrote a sentence as a reminder.

“I did, but really, Jongin? After all that, this is what I get in return?”

“Did I ruin the moment?” Sehun has an agitated look on his face, and Jongin gets the cue, “Okay, don’t answer that. I was only curious! You can’t memorize texts very well unless you wrote a reminder.”

“If you knew I always write reminders, why did you ask?”

“Aww, is my sweet baby upset?” Jongin’s voice teasing as his hand comes to pinch one of Sehun’s cheeks briefly, “don’t get me wrong, baby. I’m more than happy to know you’re happy with me because I don’t want to be with anyone else in this world but you.”

Without uttering a word, Sehun grins as he tugs on their intertwined hands, gesturing for Jongin to scoot closer. He then brings up their intertwined hands and kisses the back of Jongin’s hand before he leans his head to Jongin’s.

“Hey, you had your words. It’s best that I give you mine too.”

Sehun’s ears perk up instantaneously at the promise of Jongin’s words. He readies himself for Jongin’s usually heavy words, “Go ahead, Kim Kai.”

He hears Jongin taking in a deep breath, eyes staring at their loosely intertwined hands before it shifts to the sea foams crawling on the sand.

“Did you remember the time I admitted that I relish on simplicity and that included my thoughts? You see, couples out there delude themselves into thinking they’ll love each other until eternity but in my eyes, there’s no eternity. Even if the believed afterlife is real, I still won't count that as eternity because eternity is infinite and we’re finite. Yet that doesn’t hold me back to spend my remaining time left in this world with you. I will welcome death with open arms one day, but until then, I want to be with you until my last breath.”

Another comforting silence rises up between them, and Sehun closes his eyes to savor the last moments of their 6th anniversary. A gust of wind blowing towards them sends a shiver down Sehun’s arm underneath the long sleeves of his shirt.

Mumbling underneath his breath, Sehun’s voice trails at the last word, “I, too, want you next to me until my last breath, Jongin.”

Taking a moment to register what’s happening inside of him, Sehun notes on his irregular heartbeat, and the _very_ familiar bubbly feeling inside his chest that can burst any moment.

Against Sehun’s seemingly halted response, he knows Jongin is giving him an expectant look despite his unwavering patience on the younger boy. In their silence, Sehun pulls back his linked hand away, but before Jongin can whine, he grips Jongin’s hand and holds it to his chest.

Exactly where his heart rests. Aside from the warmth radiating from Sehun’s chest, Jongin can feel the thumping of Sehun’s heartbeat, and _it’s racing._

Little did Jongin know, Sehun’s racing heart beat is also caused by something else, and that something else is in his back pocket, jabbing at his thigh.

Mentally preparing himself, Sehun’s sudden intake of a sharp breath doesn’t go unnoticed by Jongin. Letting Jongin’s hand stay on his chest, Sehun smiles with his gaze glued to the hand on his chest.

“We had spent our early days of being reckless, clueless youngsters in search of our purpose and the meaning of life, until now in our age of prosperity, living our dreams and passion. I’m just simply mesmerized by us, because we just confessed of spending our days where we’ll turn crumpled, and old. I’m sad I won’t be as good looking as I am now. ”

Jongin’s beautiful laughter combined with the lulling sound of waves crashing creates a melody that Sehun is slowly falling in love to. 

“Hey, don’t feel so bad of downgrading. Anyways, it’s still like 50 years from now on,” Jongin pauses his boisterous laugh for breath, “and I can’t believe you just singlehandedly described our adventures together, but you missed out that point of our lives where we got our babies.”

“Shit, that’s supposed to be the most crucial part, and I forgot it. I’ll be damned.”

“I thought you love your pup and my babies, Sehun.”

“But I do!” Jongin’s laugh is ringing loud in his ears, and it calms Sehun’s nerves. He lowers their clasped hands from his chest and pulls his hand away to Jongin’s back.

“Let’s have another dog together, Jongin.”  
“We should. Hey, do you remember that time I bought a Bichon on impulse?”

“And we named him Mongshil, but please, never again. The only advantage of your impromptu adoption is Vivi’s rising social skills with his kind.”

“I thought you love Mongshil,” the older pouts before he sighs, “I want another poodle.”

“You have 3 Poodles already, Jongin. We should have it equal to 3 Poodles and 3 Bichon.”

“Fine, no more Poodles, but don’t I have a say on this?”

Sehun hesitates on listening to what Jongin will say because he knows he’s weak for Jongin’s persuasion. Jongin can persuade him to have 10 more dogs, and Sehun would agree to do so.

Everything inside him turns so soft for Jongin.

“Of course you have a say, Kim Kai.”

“Let’s have a Chow Chow. Do you know how they look?”

“Do you want an animal representation of yourself as our dog around our house?”

This is the third time Jongin’s laughter resonates in between Sehun’s baby steps before he pulls his big and grandeur move of the night. His conscious is laughing at himself too because _look at how well this is going, Sehun._  
  
“Yes, don’t you think it’ll be adorable to see a teddy bear but dog version running around our house? I’m mentally crying at the thought only.”

Sehun sighs, “Why am I always weak for you? Let’s try adopting, but if we can’t find one, we can go to the pet shop this weekend.”

Just as he said it, Jongin’s arm wraps around Sehun’s as he gives a warm embrace to the younger in appreciation. He very well knows that it doesn’t take a lot of begging for Sehun to give in, but he's never taking it for granted—unless it’s for dogs—.

“Thank you, Sehunnie,” Jongin whispers, but with his lips muffled in Sehun’s black locks, it sounds incoherent.

“You don’t have to thank me. Now that I think of it, a Chow Chow will be so cute especially when we hide him among your teddy bear collection.”

“We won’t be able to find our Chow Chow until the next day!”

From the tone of Jongin’s voice, Sehun knows the boy is giddy, grinning at the prospect of their new dog. He shakes his head, the amount of love Jongin has for dogs had infected Sehun too.

Not long after Jongin lets go of his hug, he mumbles with his chin propped on Sehun’s shoulder and arms resting in front and behind Sehun. 

“Hey, thank you, Sehun,” the mentioned boy smiles at the combination of cute and sincerity in Jongin’s voice, “Tonight had become a lovely 6th year anniversary for us. It’s impossible to get even better.”

“It can be, Jongin.”

As Sehun turns around to face Jongin, the sand beneath him feels rougher, and the sweat in his palms only forms more. There’s a mix of bewilderment and expectant look in Jongin’s face, but Sehun hopes he looks okay himself.

His fingers fumble with the velvet box inside his back pocket and Sehun had a heart attack when he almost loses his grip from it. Sehun is pale to start with, but he could feel himself turning pale at the prospect of failing his plan.

Sehun pulls up all the courage left in him, and takes a deep breath, eyes closing before he opens them again, a smile on his lips. He stares into the eyes that he could find warmth from, “Kim Jongin…”

Surprise settles in the said boy’s face because Sehun _never_ calls his full name, except on certain occasions. He wonders on what particular occasion is Sehun going for this time.

 

 

_And I hate to admit it, but I’m so in love with you_

_Well it’s not a secret anymore, I can’t keep it anymore_

Sehun hums a melody that always runs a tingle down Jongin’s back. A melody that they both no longer need any memorizing because it’s in the back of their hands.

Sneaking a glance at his knees, Sehun makes sure that he won’t fall on his one knee. After he’s sure, he gazes back at Jongin to see tears forming in the older’s eyes.

Sehun reckons the nerve-wrecking sensations coursing all over his whole body, and he gulps nervously as his throat feels drier. He sucks in a deep breath again, as he stops humming, and eyes focusing straight to Jongin’s teary ones.

“Can you believe we had been together for 6 years? Actually, we’ve been together almost all our lives, but tonight I plan to lose the word almost. I know you know how much I love you, it’s impossibly grand, and I’m lucky. I have you as my best friend, my soulmate, my partner in crime, and my baby bear.”

There’s a sharp breath from Jongin when he realizes there’s a blue velvet box in Sehun’s palm. He stares at Sehun’s face with bulging eyes and mouth slightly gaping because he couldn’t really believe his eyes, but his heart is beating ceaselessly against his rib cage.

“Along those titles, I’d like to add in one more, my husband,” Sehun pauses for a dramatic effect, and he opens the velvet box. 

Inside is a simple onyx colored wedding ring, nothing too extravagant but there’s a touch of beauty from the small diamond rocks aligning on the center of the band. 

Such a fitting ring for Jongin who has eloquent elegance within that makes up for his taste on simplicity. As Sehun glances up to Jongin’s gasp, the boy is silently crying with tears running down his lips that are forming into a soft smile.

Reflexively, Sehun’s free hand cups Jongin’s face before his thumb rubs soothingly on Jongin’s wet cheek. But at the sight of Jongin’s happy tears, Sehun’s own tears starts forming in his eyes, brimming on the edge of falling. 

Because tonight is the beginning of a new chapter for them. 

It was a new beginning 6 years ago when they were officially together, with the sounds of waves crashing as a soothing rhythm behind their thudding hearts. The cold sand against their calloused skin, and the stars scattered across the night sky as their witnesses.

And now, they once again become the witnesses to the opening of a new chapter. 

Their life had been closely written into a book, and within every chapter, lies their adventures together. Sehun adds a closing to their previous chapter, and he becomes the writer for the beginning of their adventure in the new chapter.

_Where he ties the knots._

“Kim Jongin, you’re what ignites my fire. You keep me rooted to the ground in the moments when I flew up so high, and your differences complete mine. You’re the reason that I wake up every morning because I know you will be there waiting for me with your sweet smile and warm laugh at the end of the day. And I hate to admit it, but I love you, and I can’t wait to unfold new journeys with you. It starts tonight, so marry me, Jongin.”

There’s a small choked laugh from Jongin after Sehun says his marriage proposal. 

Against the tears that keep falling to Jongin’s cheeks, he smiles when he catches the phrase, “And I hate to admit it,” because that’s what Sehun said when he first confessed.

Even under his blurry gaze, Jongin realizes the tears forming in Sehun’s warm brown eyes, and with what he’ll say, he knows it will fall. Because they both know what Jongin’s answer is, it just needs to be said in words.

“There’s only one you in this world, and I love you, so there won’t be any option for me,” and Jongin chokes on his words, the tears stinging on his cheeks, “other than yes. Millions and millions of yes!”

And true to Jongin’s words, the word ‘yes’ causes Sehun’s tears to fall, streaking his dry cheeks but his smile is the brightest. The moon behind him turned dull in comparison. 

Motioning for Jongin’s right hand, Sehun takes the ring out and gently wears it on his ring finger.

A single tear drops to the back of Jongin’s hand as Sehun stares in disbelief at the ring on Jongin’s finger. The very band that sealed their fate together and as a symbol of their promise to stay together for their lives.

If there were people on the beach, the sight of two boys sulking in their tears might be questionable, but their bright, genuine smiles and their linked hand tell otherwise.

Abruptly standing up to his feet, Sehun dusts off the sand sticking to the back of his pants while his other hand pulls on Jongin’s hand, a gesture to stand up. The moment Jongin finishes patting the sand away, a pair of hands finds his way to Jongin’s waist.

Putting all his weight on his legs and feet, Sehun lifts Jongin up and twirls around with the serene moon casting a beautiful scenery behind the newly engaged couple. The older boy squeals under Sehun’s strong arms, bursting into a joyous laughter.

A beautiful sight indeed.

The younger then joins in the laughter. Sehun's lips forming into a wide grin before he shouts into the lonely night with them as the only company. 

“We’re getting married, Jongin! The most perfect human being in my eyes is mine completely!”

When Sehun stops twirling, his hand comes up to cup Jongin’s face before he leans into the other’s pair. Their lips meet in a passionate kiss that had both of their hearts fluttering and their stomach coiling because this feeling is incomparable.

Sehun felt the rush to kiss Jongin’s lips from the moment he said yes. For every joy within him heightening when his lips mold perfectly with Jongin’s, he knows that that’s where he belongs. _His happiness._

And Jongin is still mid-air under Sehun’s embrace, but he feels secure and safe because he knows Sehun won’t let go.

As they break apart, breathless from their kiss, Jongin stares at Sehun’s tender eyes, bewildered at his capability of falling over and over again at the eyes that he had been welcomed to for the last 6 years.

Under their soft breaths and loving gaze on each other, Sehun closes his eyes, savoring another one of their memorable moments in his mind. His heart without any commands had gone to its own accord of reveling what he feels at the moment.

“I hate to admit it too, Sehun, but I love you. So much,” Jongin’s voice is almost a whisper, a passing air in the windy night but Sehun hears it clearly, and he smiles.

“I know. So I guess until death do us apart?”

Jongin grins at those words because there’s no other better promise said for them. They had really been together for almost all their lives and will continue to be together.

One day, they’ll both die but knowing that they had loved each other until that time comes is enough.

“Of course. Until death do us apart, Oh Sehun.”

**Author's Note:**

> I miss writing wow this was inspired by the lyrics of the song (italicized in the opening paragraphs) and all I could think about was sekai when I listened to it. It's a slow tempo song and in English as well. If you're ever curious, I hope you'll give it a listen, it's called D'Inspiration by RAN, a local band that I love! Once again, thank you for reading and I hope you liked it! c: let's support our babies for the next comeback, shall we?


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